Jokes of the Day

Jokes of the Day

Kid: mom kya aap ne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?
mom: nahi to
kid: to phir paida hone k baad aap ne mujhe pehchana kaise?

lady: mere lips pe infection hogaya hai
dr: kiss kitni bar karti ho?
lady: sal main ek bar
dr: infection nahi zang lag gaya hai.

ek admi ne saas k pass saanp betha dekha
saanp se bola: meri saas ko dus lo.
saanp: abay kiya dus loon?
main to khud apna zehar easy load karwane aata hoon.


girl in a party to a man: excuse me sir,
kiya aap mere face se ek chez hata sakte hain?
man: khush hote hue haan haan bolo kiya?
girl: manhos aadmi apni nazrain.



Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Sir: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai ,
jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Sir: Uskaa naam Repeater rakh do!

Husband and Wife were fighting.
Husband says: tu sali kutti,
wife replies: tu sala kutta,
their child who was nearby said: "Main sala Puppy"

Neighbour to Bhola: " Raat nu teri khirki khuli si,
I enjoyed full scene u did with bhabhi".
Bhola: "Ban gaya na pagal,
main to raat ghar par tha he nahi".


Bhola his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U pied your kids, U have 3 children?
Bhola replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR.

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Joke

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers, when she
passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers, on their way to
classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, 'Good
morning sisters.'


The novices replied, 'Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with
you.' But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the
other, 'I think she got out of the wrong side of the bed this
morning.' This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue
the issue.

A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the
Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She
greeted them with, 'Good morning Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may
God give you wisdom for our students today.'

'Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with you.'
But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, 'She got out of
the wrong side of bed today.' Baffled, she started to wonder if she
had spoken harshly, or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed
to be more pleasant.

Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary
approaching, step by step, with her walker. Mother Superior had plenty
of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face, before greeting
Sister Mary. 'Good morning, Sister Mary. I'm so happy to see you up
and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a
wonderful day.'

'Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior and thank you. I see you got up on
the wrong side of the bed this morning.' Mother Superior was floored!
'Sister Mary, what have I done wrong? I have tried to be pleasant, but
three times already today, people have said that about me.'

Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior in the
face. 'Oh, don't take it personal, Mother Superior. It's just that
you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers.

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