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आज, ना जाने क्यों ? थक गया हूँ जीवन की इस दौड में कोई राह नहीं सामने दूर तक इन उनींदी आँखों में नया जीवन चाहता हूँ आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ
भय था कभी विकराल लडकपन था नादान माँ का असीम प्यार पिता की डाँट और दुलार जून की दोपहरी में, छत पर वही बिछौना चाहता हूँ आज मै रोना चाहता हूँ
नाना नानी की कहानियाँ दादा दादी की परेशानियाँ भैया दीदी की लडाईयाँ पापा मम्मी की बलाइयाँ बस उन्हीं लम्हों में आज फिर खोना चाहता हूँ आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ
साथियों के संग होली का हुडदंग बारिश में कागज की नाव दबंग गर्मियों में छुट्टियों के दिन स्कूल में सीखने की उमंग अपने अकेलेपन में, वो टूटे मोती पिरोना चाहता हूँ आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ
कुछ कर गुजरने की चाह सफलता की वो कठिन राह मुश्किलों का सामना करने की पापा की वो सलाह आज फिर से वही सपने संजोना चाहता हूँ ना जाने क्यों, आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ
शायद कुछ छोड आया पीछे आगे बढ़ने की हौड में पीछे रह गये सब, मैं अकेला इस अंधी दौड में लौटा दो कोई मेरा बचपन, पुराना खिलौना चाहता हूँ हाँ, आज मैं रोना चाहता हूँ
नहीं जानता कि कहाँ जाना है क्या कुछ वापस पाना है इस जीवन में मै टूट बिखर चुका हूँ कब से उन्हीं सुनहरे पलों में जी भर सोना चाहता हूँ आज मैं, ना जाने क्यों, रोना चाहता हूँ
मैं दो कदम चलता और एक पल को रूकता मगर,इस एक पल में जिन्दगी मुझसे 4 कदम आगे chali जाती,मैं फिर दो कदम चलता और एक पल को रूकता मगर,जिन्दगी मुझसे फिर ४ कदम आगे chali जाती,जिन्दगी को jeet ta देख मैं muskurata और जिन्दगी मेरी mushkurahat पर hairan होती,ये silsila yuhi चलता रहा ,फिर एक दिन मुझको hasta देख एक sitare ने पुछा "तुम harkar भी muskurate हो ,क्या तुम्हे दुःख नहीं होता haar का?" तब मैंने कहा ,मुझे पता है एक ऐसी sarhad aayegi jaha से जिन्दगी ४ तो क्या एक कदम भी आगे नहीं जा payegi और तब जिन्दगी मेरा intzaar karegi और मैं तब भी अपनी raftar से yuhi चलता रुकता wahan pahunchunga .........एक पल ruk कर जिन्दगी की taraf देख कर muskuraoonga,beete safar को एक नज़र देख अपने कदम फिर badhaoonga ,ठीक usi पल मैं जिन्दगी से jeet jaunga,मैं अपनी haar पर muskuraya था और अपनी jeet पर भी muskuraunga और जिन्दगी अपनी jeet पर भी न मुस्कुरा पाई थी और अपनी haar पर भी न मुस्कुरा पायेगी, बस तभी मैं जिन्दगी को जीना सिखाऊँगा
भीड़ में भी जब कोई तुम्हें तन्हा दिखाई दे , सबके साथ होकर भी जब कोई अकेला दिखाई दे | हँसते ही जिसके दिखे एक समंदर सा दर्द का , देख जिसे लगे इंतज़ार में एक बुत अपने खुदा के , जिसकी सोच समझ जैसे खोई सी लगे , जिसकी बातों से ख़ुद तेरी तस्वीर बने , बस बिना खोए एक भी पल उसे , मेरा नाम लेके मिल लेना , वो मैं ना भी हुआ तो कोई ग़म नहीं , वो मेरे जैसा हो जाएगा , मैं ना सही कोई तो तुम्हे मिल जाएगा | और अगर याद मेरा नाम भी तब ना आए , तो बस अपने नाम से पुकार लेना उसे , यक़ीन करो वो मैं हुआ तो एक पल में पहचान लूँगा , तुम्हे फिर तुमसे माँग लूँगा |
चेहरे बदलने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , दर्द दिल में हो तो हसँने का हुनर मुझमें नहीं, मैं तो आईना हुँ तुझसे तुझ जैसी ही मैं बात करू, टूट कर सँवरने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
चलते चलते थम जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं, एक बार मिल के छोड जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो दरिया हुँ , बेहता ही रहा , तुफान से डर जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
सरहदों में बंट जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , रोशनी में भी दिख पाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो हवा हुँ , महकती ही रही , आशिंयाने मैं रह पाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
सुन के दर्द और सताने का हुनर मुझमैं नही , धर्म के नाम पर खुन बहाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो इन्सान हुँ , इन्सान ही रहूँ , सब कुछ भुल जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
अपने दम पे जगमगाने हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो रात को ही दिखुंगा ,दिन में दिख पाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो चांद हूँ तन्हा ही रहा , तारों की तरह साथ रह पाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
सुख में खो जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , दुख में घबराने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो जिन्दगी हुँ चलती ही रहुँ , व़क़्त साथ छोड जाने हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
त़कलीफ में अश्क बहाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , दोस्तों के सामने छिप जाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं , मैं तो एहसास हुँ ,मन में ही बसुं , भगवान की तरह पत्थरों में रह पाने का हुनर मुझमैं नहीं ।
मैं कौन हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ । जर्रा हूँ , समन्दर हूँ , या तुफान हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , मैं नहीं जानता , मैं खुद से अभी तक अनजान हूँ । पानी हूँ , कश्ती हूँ , या साहिल हूँ , जीवन से बन्धा एक रिश्ता या , रिश्तो में बन्धी एक जान हूँ । आँखों में छुपा एक आँसूं हूँ या , दिल में बसा एक अरमान हूँ । मैं कौन हूँ ,मैं कौन हूँ ,मैं कौन हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , मैं नहीं जानता , मैं खुद से अभी तक अनजान हूँ । कौन हूँ मैं , गैर हूँ या अपना हूँ , बोझ हूँ किसी पर , या दुआ हूँ या , खुदा का किया कोई एहसान हूँ । मैं कौन हूँ……… खुशी हूँ , दर्द हूँ , या कोई एहसास हूँ , तन्हा हूँ या मैं किसी के पास हूँ , साज़ हूँ , राग हूँ , या दर्द भरी आवाज़ हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , मैं नहीं जानता , मैं खुद से अभी तक अनजान हूँ । गीत हूँ , गज़ल हूँ , या शायर का कोई अन्दाज़ हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , मैं कौन हूँ , अन्त हूँ , मध्य हूँ , या कोई आगाज़ हूँ मैं कौन हूँ ,मैं कौन हूँ ,मैं कौन हूँ , सोचते सोचते एक उम्र गुज़र जायेगी , है यकीं मुझको मेरी पहचान मिल जायेगी ।
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home economist in Bed.
What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We may never piss this way again."
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: What's the diff between mother wife? A: One woman brings into the world crying the other ensures you continue to do so.
Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start? Santa: In 3 months.
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?" Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"
An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising.
When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi.
As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship- style golf course that the home was located. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
St. Peter replied, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next, they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine of the World laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied, with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part - you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly.
St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
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Bending Your Boner!
Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.
The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.
"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."
"So", says the second drunk, "What's your point?"
"Well", says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
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The Blonde The Indian!
An attractive Blonde, Kitty Mc Neill was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. Kitty climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let Kitty off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback!"
Seventy-six year old Grace was watching TV at home late one afternoon.
Presently, the 5:00 news came on. The lead story was traffic mayhem on I-95 due to a car going down the highway the wrong way.
Grace suddenly realized her husband was traveling home on that very same highway. Concerned, she reached for the phone and called him on his cell.
"Harold," she said when he answered. "Are you still on I-95?"
"I am," Harold replied.
"Well then please be careful!" Grace said. "I just heard on the news that some maniac is going down the highway the wrong way!"
"One?" Harold replied. "Aw, heck, Grace, they're ALL going the wrong way!"
Cross-Eyed Dog
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed," the man says. "Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes and ears and then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" The man was astonished. "Why? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No," said the vet, "because he's really heavy!"
Statue
An artist brought her lover home one afternoon. Amongst many statues, sculptures and paintings, she brought him into her bed and they spent the next few hours having a passionate roll in the hay.
As they were lying together in the afterglow, a car was heard pulling into the driveway.
"Oh no!" the woman exclaimed. "My husband's home! I didn't expect him home so early!"
She jumped out of bed and looked for a place for her lover to hide. The bathroom was too obvious, the closet was full of stuff and there were too many art projects under the bed to fit a person. She heard her husband come in the front door.
Suddenly she had an idea. "I know!" she said. "Wait here." She ran into the bathroom, came back with a large bottle of baby powder and moved a few pieces of art to clear a space in the corner of the room. "Stand here," she said. "Yes, like that. Now stand still." She then proceeded to sprinkle baby powder all over him until he was completely white. "Now stay like that. You're a statue, OK? Don't move!" she said. He stood still.
Her husband came into the room. "Hi, Honey," he said. They hugged. After some conversation, they too hopped into bed for more passionate lovemaking.
A couple hours later, she got up. "I'm going to start the wash in the basement, dear," she said. "Bring the detergent down, will you?" She looked over in the corner. Her lover was still standing motionless.
She left. The husband brought the detergent down and then went to the kitchen and got a glass of ice water. He went back upstairs, walked around the room, stopped at the corner and studied the "statue."
"Here," he said as he offered the glass. "You must be dying of thirst."
The man stood still for another moment and then decided to let his guard down and take the water. "Thanks," he said.
"Sure thing," the husband said. "I know firsthand what it's like being secretly involved with an artist. Just last week I had to stand still for nearly three hours and nobody brought me anything!"
Mental Health Hotline
We recently placed a call to the Mental Health Hotline because one of our associates was feeling a little edgy. They really have covered all the bases. Here's what we got:
"Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline....
If you are obsessive-compulsiv e, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. Remember, you are never alone!
If you are manic-depressive it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, before the beep or during the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and have yourself a good cry. You won't be crazy forever."
Michael and his Roommate
One evening, Michael invited his mother over for dinner.
During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Michael's female roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two of them and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was indeed more between them than just a roommate living situation.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Michael volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne and I are just roommates."
Several days later, Joanne came to Michael and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well," said Michael, "I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote his mother a letter:
Dear Mom,
Thank you for coming to dinner last week.
It seems we are missing our silver gravy ladle.
I'm not saying you 'did' take the gravy ladle, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Michael
A couple days later, Michael received a reply:
Dear Son,
Thank you for inviting me to dinner last week.
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Joanne, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Joanne. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
"You know, Dad," 16-year-old Jimmy started. "I'm 16 now and I think it's time that we talk about getting a car for me to drive."
"Well, I'll make a deal with you, Jimmy," his Dad replied. "We'll talk about this car idea when you bring home a good report card and you get your hair cut."
A couple of months later, Jimmy brings home his report card. "Here you go, Dad. All A's!"
"That's great, Jimmy," his Dad replied. "But you still haven't gotten your hair cut."
"Well, Dad, while making those great grades, I was in a religion class and noticed that Jesus had long hair, all of the Apostles had long hair. Moses, Joseph and even the kings of the land all had long hair."
His Dad thought about this for a second and asked, "Did you notice what else they had in common?"
She gets into the cab, and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
'I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you,' says the cabbie.
'My son, you cannot offend me,' says the Nun. 'When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well,' said the cabbie, 'I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me.'
'Well, lets see what we can do about that,' the Nun replies. 'First, you have to be single and, second, you must be Catholic.'
The cabbie is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'Okay,' says the Nun. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a passonate kiss but, when they get back on the road, the cabbie starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the Nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me, Sister, for I have sinned,' says the cabbie. 'I lied, and
I must confess that I'm married and I'm a Methodist.'
That's okay,' says the Nun. 'My name is Kevin and I'm going to a costume party.'
Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about the many things of life... in between... we talked about the idea of living or dying.
I said to her, "Darling, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die."
Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me...and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the Ipod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer !!
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely i can't look that old? well.. you'll love this one.
My name is alice smith and i was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. i noticed his dds diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. after he examined my teeth, i asked him if he had attended morgan park high school
'Yes. yes, i did. i'm a mustang,' he gleamed with pride.
'When did you graduate?' i asked.
He answered , 'in 1975. why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!', i exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, , grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked: